you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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