You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize