Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize