so let's talk penis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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