worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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