Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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