We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
