I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
