direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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