Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
