You just made me feel so damn special
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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