Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
