His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
