She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
