He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
