shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
