What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
