What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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