i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize