His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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