I have demons in me.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
