Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
