I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize