i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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