last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
