All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
