Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
