please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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