Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
