I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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