I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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