we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
