I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize