So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
and she was petting her beer can
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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