My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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