How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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