im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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