She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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