There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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