I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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