I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize