Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
