he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
