idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
