So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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