her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
