remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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