I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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