She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
