did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
