i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
