Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
