I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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