I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
