Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
