quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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