I will die if light touches me.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
