I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
