We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
