I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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