Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
