I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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