he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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