i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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