Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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