i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
