Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
