ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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