and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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