Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
